Tuscaloosa, Northport and University of Alabama real estate and homes for sale in Alabama, Luxury Homes, Lakefront Properties - Alice Maxwell, REALTOR® Alice Maxwell REALTOR(r) for Tuscaloosa, Northport and University of Alabama, Alabama real estate, Luxury Homes,  Lakefront Properties - NUMBER1EXPERT™ Alice Maxwell NUMBER1EXPERT(tm) for Tuscaloosa, Northport and University of Alabama, Alabama real estate, Luxury Homes, Lakefront Properties
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Alice Maxwell, REALTORŪ, real estate agent and broker for Tuscaloosa, Northport and University of Alabama Alabama home listings, property and land for sale - NUMBER1EXPERT(tm)
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Welcome > Resources > Humor for the Day ...


50 Fun Things To Do In An Elevator 

1. Make race car noises when people get on and off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while slapping your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you just shut up!"
4. Whistle the first 7 notes of It's a Small World incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout Cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask,"Got enough air in there?"
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper, "Ever had a Wet Willy?"
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral."
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on."
18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back, "Oh, not now, motion sickness!"
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Meow occasionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter, "Gotta go, gotta go," then sigh and say, "oops!"
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing "Mary Had a Little Lamb" while continuously pushing buttons.
25. Holler, "Chutes away!!" whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "Human Head" on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce, "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
28. Burp, then say, "Mmmmm.....tasty!"
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a hand puppet and talk to the other passengers "through" it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
34. Play the accordion.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say, "Ding!" at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say, "I wonder what all these do?" and then push ALL the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger, "Wanna see wha in muh mouf??"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."
46. Carry a blanket a clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it's getting bigger."
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil fiercely and scream, "Bad Touch!"
 

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Real Estate Tips
Disclosure Laws >Avoiding Delays During Escrow

Unforeseen problems can arise during escrow, and closing dates are never set in stone! Lenders, appraisers, title attorneys, credit check services, or anyone who is involved in the transaction could potentially delay a closing. Stay in close touch with your real estate agent, who will notify you of deadlines and help you deal with delays.

Well-written sales contracts are the key to avoiding problems during escrow. For example, provisions can be included in the agreement that require the buyer to provide evidence of sufficient funds for down payment and closing costs, or to present proof of the ability to obtain homeowner's insurance. Because of new restrictions on insurance policies, the mortgage lender may require insurance before funding the loan.

There is also a section in the sales contract wherein the seller makes a warranty to the buyer of the condition of the property. It is important to make sure that this clause is modified to reflect the seller's transfer disclosure statement. If this is not done, the seller could be required to repair items that are found to be dysfunctional or faulty, and this could add time to the escrow period.

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Real Estate Trivia
Q 
What celebrity home sold recently for a reported $5.5 million, despite its yellow-and-rust striped paint job?

A 
This Hollywood Hills residence was the former home of the popular singer, Madonna.
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Alice Maxwell, REALTORŪ, real estate agent and broker for Tuscaloosa, Northport and University of Alabama Alabama home listings, property and land for sale - NUMBER1EXPERT(tm)

Alice Maxwell--Relocation Specialist
Advantage Realty Group

1641 N. McFarland Blvd. Suite A-1
Tuscaloosa AL 35406
205-345-0116
205-292-4546
Fax: 205-758-1831
alicemaxwell@NUMBER1EXPERT.com

"It is important to me to give 100% to every client, because I know that buying and selling a home is more than just paperwork and details. It's about realizing your goals and dreams. And when we're through, I feel I've been successful only if my clients are completely satisfied!"

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